What are Your Foxes?

I’m sure many people could understand where I’m coming from when I say that my husband has many great qualities, but after being married for some time now I get to see all of his negative qualities as well. We have shared a lot of fun times together, but he has also done numerous things that have hurt me over the years. Some bigger than others, but across the board I have enough negative memories to choose from if I so wish to enter a dark past.

Our day to day marriage is probably like most other marriages out there: Pretty full of mundane tasks like getting the kids ready and taking them to school, working, making dinner, doing homework with the kids, and cleaning. Nothing major, but it sure is nice when all of these nothing majors are pleasantly experienced with my spouse.

Here was my problem. For some reason, as I went throughout my day to day activities, these thoughts about times my husband had hurt me would pop into my head. Or, a thought of something he was currently not fulfilling in my life that I wish he would comes to mind. I would tend to think on these thoughts for a minute and then my attitude toward him shifted. It’s not obvious to anyone else but me, but it shifts. When he calls, I’m not quite as happy to talk to him. When he comes home, I’m not quite so welcoming. In the evening, I’m not quite so motivated to touch him affectionately. I knew these thoughts weren’t healthy, but I didn’t know what to do about it.

I had been reading Song of Solomon, and let me just say don’t read it if you get embarrassed easily ;-). It is continued interaction between two lovers. One particular verse jumped out at me as I read it:

Song of Solomon 2:15 –

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!

This verse is telling me that there are little foxes sent to ruin a vineyard of love. I studied a bit about foxes during the time of this writing and learned that foxes would craftily sneak into a vineyard and eat the fruit from the vines. They could slowly and subtly ruin a vineyard’s crop. For me, the little foxes that ruin the blossoming love in my marriage were my continued replays in my mind of my husband’s failures. It is subtle, but it robs me of being able to fully engage and enjoy my day to day marriage with my spouse.

I believe God gave me personally something I can do to combat these foxes and I believe that He will give wisdom to others to combat whatever their little foxes are that are preventing a full blossom of love in their marriage.

This verse says that we have to catch these little foxes. That means that when a thought of my husband’s failure comes to my mind, I have to catch it. I have to snatch it up as soon as I see it.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ…

I believe the Holy Spirit showed me that every time I have a negative reminiscent thought about my husband I could capture it by thanking God for several things that I am thankful for about my husband. The first day I tried this, I did not have one more negative thought for the rest of the day! For me, that’s a big deal because I realized I was having these thoughts all throughout my day. It has to be immediate, because those foxes are sneaky and they want to munch on all the fruit that my marriage can produce.

I don’t believe these thoughts are random. I believe the enemy purposely sends foxes to rob us of a loving marriage and I believe I have to be purposeful in kicking those foxes out of my marriage’s vineyard!

One of my now favorite verses:

Romans 1:21

Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks…As a result, their minds became dark and confused.

I don’t want to go through years of a darkened marriage. I want a marriage that blossoms. I want to experience love. I want to produce fruit that I can enjoy in my marriage, not an empty vineyard that has been robbed of all beauty. I purpose to catch those little foxes, and experience abundant love!

Father God, thank You so much for Your timely message to me. Thank You for showing me how little foxes can do so much damage! Thank You for showing me what the little foxes are that sneak into to my life to rob me of experiencing love. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit that guides me into a practical plan that I can do to catch every little fox sent my way! Please help me experience love to the fullest in my marriage.

#marriage