Be Specific!

I just so happened to read Song of Solomon the week before my wedding anniversary. I didn’t remember it being so candid :-). I believe every book is in the Bible for a reason. I learned a lot about being in love from this book. One thing I realized is that the whole book is interaction between two lovers and much of this interaction is them saying specifically what they love about each other! Here are some examples:

Your cheeks are comely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.

Behold, you are beautiful! You have doves’ eyes.

You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words.Your eyes are like doves.

Your hair falls in waves.

Your smile is flawless

Your teeth are as white as sheep

Your lips are like a thread of scarlet, and your mouth is lovely.

Your neck is as beautiful as the tower of David

Your breasts are like two fawns

Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices

And these are just a sample of the abundance of specific things the two lovers love about each other!

Dorothy Tennov, a clinical psychologist who has worked with thousands of couples, said that “romantic” love, on average, lasts only three years. If we think this sounds depressing, it’s because we don’t yet understand the multi-faceted, many-dimensional, ever-resilient marvel that is genuine marital love. [From Focus on the Family]

I think many marriages feel like they have a problem marriage because the romance area dwindles after a few years. But, it sounds like this is very normal in all marriages. However, I don’t believe that this means we have to just have romance be a memory of the beginning of our marriages. I believe this means we have to be purposeful in creating romance that used to just happen on its own.

Song of Solomon has given us an amazing way that we can purposefully create a feeling of romance in our marriage. When I think about it, just saying I love you is a pretty lazy attempt at building up my marriage. I think I can do much better than that! I can be specific in telling my spouse what it is that I specifically love about him or her.

What do I love physically about my spouse?

I love your broad nose. I love your defined jaw line. I love feeling your strong hands wrapped around me tight. (Note from Song of Solomon: Use adjectives! ;-)

What do I love about my husband’s character?

I love that you are consistent in taking our family to church. I love that you are so involved with our children when you get home from work. I love how you like to have fun and keep me having fun. I love that you are faithful to me and respectful of me even when I’m not around.

I’m not going to be too lazy for romance with my husband. I’m getting specific and descriptive!

Father God, thank You so much for a real example of infatuating love in the Bible. I don’t want to get lazy in the area of romance with my husband. Please help me find specific things that I love about my husband and please give me the courage to speak those things to him daily!

#marriage #romance